The Invasion

It's been weeks since the invasion of my inseparable shadow. I'm in desperate need of space.

Though it does wonders for my self-esteem to be highly desirable, it does nothing for my sanity. I wonder why the sudden change? Baby C used to be content playing on her own or with her brother but have since morphed into the shadow that lurks all day.

When I'm at the computer, she has to be seated on my lap. It's impossible to check emails, FB or do anything remotely productive with her plonked in front of the computer. She jabs at the keyboard with fervour and monopolizes the mouse.

The kitchen with all its potential dangers has become her playground when I am cooking. I closed the door to the kitchen once, leaving her outside. Her insistent knocking and dramatic crying made it very hard for me to focus on the task at hand. So now she's in the kitchen with me when I cook, having the time of her life; emptying the laundry basket, maneuvering the dustbin and attempting adrenaline inducing stunts such as climbing on a stool to reach for plates in the dish drainer (actually the technique is more grab and drag to the ground). 

I'm not spared from her prying eyes even when I'm in the bathroom. She's there when I'm taking a shower and there when free smells are generously released. Too close for comfort.

She clings even in the still of the night. I used to ignore her cries and she'll go back to sleep after a short while. Now, she has to be held. I'll oblige from time to time. Or if I'm feeling really crappy and my maternal instincts numbed by sleep deprivation, will walk out of the room and sleep on the sofa. She protests with loud cries but decides to go back to sleep when she doesn't see me in the room. It only works when I am NOT in the room. I'm usually too exhausted to go back to bed and end up sleeping on the sofa till morning.

Where did my easy-going baby go? Mums need to think in terms of phases in order to maintain sanity. The consolation that it'll pass helps in raising the endurance threshold. Just don't ask how long it'll take for the saga to be over.

The paradox: I am loving the squeals of delight, complete with the stamping of little feet in excitement and a little celebratory dance (her version is swaying from side to side) that greets me after I'm away from her for an extended period (that could mean just half an hour). I go out for a quick dinner. She cries pathetically when she sees me leave. And when I return, open the front door, the sight of her being so ecstatic at having me back, makes me fall in love with her all over again. Well, at least until the next cling and whine episode ......

Don't give me the look. No, I'm not changing my mind about needing space!