Sweet and Sassy Six

I decided to write more in 2023. What better way to start than to share about my sweet and sassy 6 year old. I used to blog about Ethan and Chloe and though I wasn't as active a blogger as I hoped to be, there were still a myraid of posts detailing their growing up years. Chloe loves reading those stories in my blog and posts/stories in Instagram. It was lovely recounting those memories with her, laughing at childhood antics and reminiscing bittersweet moments of parenting. 

I figured Kayley might enjoy reading my reflections but oops, not a single post about her!  All I can say is age (mine not hers) and third baby are factors which led me down the slippery slope of procrastination. 

This post is 6 years overdue. I remember wanting to blog about how we decided to have a third baby, her birth story, first birthday, milestones and before I know it, 6 years have passed.

And a week has passed since her 6th birthday. I had to strengthen my resolve to get this post written first thing in the morning before other distractions vie for my attention and before another year stealthily passes by.

Kayley was born the year I turned 40. We were content with 2 kids but a marriage retreat changed all that. We felt God say that He is going to bless us with another child. How He spoke to us and how we grappled with obeying that word is another story for another day.

Sweet and sassy describes who she is. The definition of sassy is "lively, bold, full of spirit; cheeky". She's all of that and more. She is also very sweet and affectionate.

This girl loves to talk. She hates to take afternoon naps in school because it means she has to stop talking. The teacher shared with me about how she was singing herself to sleep since she couldn't talk and incited the rest of her classmates to sing along during nap time!

She's a sweet friend, always asking if she can bring stickers, snacks to school to give to her friends. She loves to reach out and comfort her friends if they are sad or scared. Her teacher was very amused when she shared this incident with me. There was a heavy downpour that day. Flashes of lightning and booming thunder. Her friend was crying and Kayley tried to comfort her. She told her friend it's okay to be scared. But Jesus can take away the fear and she can pray and ask Him to be with her. Love the child-like faith!

She makes me laugh with what she says and defuses a tense situation because I didn't expect her to say those words. She tells me to calm down when I raise my voice at her. When I tell her I am not angry, she tells me that she knows my different voices and proceeds to demonstrate varying tones depicting nice and gentle versus angry and frustrated. How to stay angry?

We were having a conversation about who is going to take care of me when I am old.  Not sure what was going through her young mind but she was the one who broached this topic first. So, I casually replied my kids - the three of you. She paused and appeared to be deep in thought before exclaiming, "Then I am glad I have 5 kids!" She has been telling us she wants to have 5 kids 😂. She loves babies! Though I made it clear to her that this grandma to be will occasionally help take care her of her kids but will not spend my retirement being a full-time caregiver to her 5 kids. Can't believe I was having this conversation with a preschooler!

There's just so much to write about her and I can go and on. But I have to end here because other duties beckon.

Blessed 6th Birthday, Kayley! You bring so much joy to this family. Your name means "who is like God" and it is our prayer that as you grow with confidence and boldness because of your inheritance as a beloved princess of God, you will reveal who God is to those around you. Know that you are fearfully and wonderfully made for such a time as this! We love you so much!!

Two Thumbs Up

I have a backlog of posts since December and the mere thought of having to play catch up makes me want to procrastinate all the more. 

But I have to get started, one post at a time. So here's one about the birthday girl.

C is now a feisty 2 year old. We celebrated her birthday in December with a trip to the zoo and a simple dinner at home with her grandparents.

The zoo affair was extremely exhausting as I was the solo parent (since the hubby couldn't take leave) with two kids who each have a mind of their own (and great minds don't think alike in their case).

The 6 year old is armed with a map, ready to dictate where to go. The 2 year old is wired with the instincts of a curious, first-time explorer of the zoo, ready to throw a tantrum when her whims and fancies aren't pandered to. 

Throw in an impatient mum and you get quite an explosive combination!

The night was a flurry of activity as well with us buying food, collecting the cake and running all these errands while it was pouring buckets. By the time the actual celebration started, I was ready to call it a night.

C probably doesn't know what a birthday is, but with all the attention showered on her; she seemed to know it was something special. She was exceptionally happy.

As we were taking photos and I was looking at her beaming face, a feeling which I can't find the right word to describe took hold of me. I was exhausted but seeing how happy she was made me willing, even eager to go through this whole crazy day all over again.

And then it dawned on me that this was exactly how I felt about the last two years.

I remember the sleep deprived nights. I congratulated myself for training my baby to sleep through the night at 3 months old, only to have her suddenly decide to turn the tables on me by waking up 2 to 3 times a night when she was 6 months old. And this lasted till she was 14 months old despite my best efforts to "retrain" her.

And then there was the sick SAHM situation which I absolutely abhor. I was running an almost 40 degrees fever and in between nursing the baby and changing diapers, I was shivering under the blanket, praying very hard that the baby will nap longer.

There were of course other moments of sheer exhaustion and frustration but those two situations topped the chart for testing my resilience to the utmost.

But that was in the past. And the battle scars of motherhood are etched deeply in my memory. The early years were tough but now they are treasured memories of my journey with C.

So as we celebrated her birthday that day, I remembered all the trying moments, smiled and gave thanks to God for the little girl who turned my world upside down.

A Special Place In My Heart

I felt a teeny weeny urge to write so I thought I should seize this fleeting moment before this post gets put on the backburner. And this post must see the light of day as it is about a very significant milestone. E's 6th birthday.

There I got a few sentences out. I think half the battle is won. I should be able to finally finish writing this overdue post (his birthday was more than a week ago).

6 years ago, I was a hapless mum of one. It was a surreal experience at the beginning. Then it morphed into a gut wrenching, tears spilling, emotional roller coaster kind of a journey.

Motherhood. The blues. The guilt. I wasn't quite ready.

It took me almost a year to fully embrace motherhood. I loved my baby boy intensely but I was struggling with conflicting emotions. It didn't help that E was not an easy baby. And with the onset of the terrible twos, he was literally quite the terror!

But I was also captivated. I remember telling my hubby that if we were to have another kid, I want a baby boy. Boys are cute in a rough and tumble kind of way. I couldn't imagine having a whiny, girly gal.

Now that I have Baby C, a paradigm shift is unavoidable. Girls are melt your heart adorable!

And I've since learned that boys whine.

Even at 6 years of age.

Well, the point is I was so in love with my little boy tot that I felt only boys could make me feel this way.

And now he is 6. He'll attend big kids school next year. I'll have less time with him. Yes, I gripe about him wearing me out with his persistent, strong-willed personality and secretly wish that I can distance myself from him when he pushes the wrong buttons. But I know I'll miss having him by my side when I have to let go and allow him to grow into his own.

So for now, I'll cherish the moments we have together. 

To my darling E, I love it when you give me a hug and say "I love you" at seemingly inopportune times (like when you are in the middle of a computer game). I think you take after your dad in this aspect (the man asked me to be his girlfriend at the carpark and proposed to me in front of the library). 

Do you remember the time I slammed the car door and your thumb got caught. It was swollen and bloody and you were wailing like crazy. I felt so incredibly bad. When the teacher asked you about it, you said you don't want to talk about it anymore because mummy already apologized. It was as if you were protecting me although I caused you harm.

I'm glad you have not outgrown kisses. How you'll gladly give me a kiss when I ask for one and smile shyly when I kiss you back. You love for daddy and I to read you bedtime stories, tuck you in bed and sleep beside you. And when we get up to go, you always say "why so fast"? 

You adore your sister. Just the other day, you protected her from another boy who was trying to push her whilst they were playing. And on several occasions, you asked me where mei mei was when you didn't see her; and told me not to lose her. When she smiles at you, you are delighted. When you thought she learned how to say your name, you rushed into the room to tell me; your face beaming with excitement and pride.

You are a sensitive, affectionate boy at heart. I apologize for the times I forget. For yelling at you before seeking to understand you. I need to constantly look beneath the loud and boisterous exterior. To unearth the treasure within. 

Our desire is for you to live life passionately, to be undefeated by setbacks and to aspire to purposes beyond your wildest imagination. God is your advocate and confidante. Know that you have a godly heritage and the legacy that you leave behind as you walk intimately with God will be one that impacts lives, communities and even nations.

You will always have a special place in my heart. Even when you are all grown up, I'll look back with nostalgia at our mother and son exploits, experiences that are uniquely ours. Happy Birthday, my boy - from one captivated mama.

Birthday celebration in school

Birthday celebration in church

E's idea of a memorable birthday is one spent with favourite friends. On the way to ExplorerKid with Uncle Gerald, Jet and Shaun

ONE Special Lady

Yet another overdue post. We celebrated Baby C's FIRST birthday about 2 weeks ago. No big birthday bash. I very much prefer smaller groups where the interaction is more personal. We had two birthday celebrations - one with our life group and another with my relatives. The birthday girl is obviously none the wiser but I'm sure she had her share of fun with the love and attention showered on her.

This adorable, melt your heart little lady has brought immense joy to our lives. E loves being around her and enjoys making her laugh. They play, they fight, they kiss ... she's great company for a boy who loves being around people. E wants more siblings (on a good day, the number can go up to 5) and a dog too. So I reckon he's cool about having to share the love and attention. NOT exactly what I have in mind. Well, that's fodder for another post.

 What has Baby C been up to? She talks with her mouth full (when she nurses) and ends up making funny, mumbling sounds. Shakes her legs and tries to stick her finger up my nostrils whilst nursing (had a few successful attempts much to my disgust and much to her delight). Seriously lacking in table manners!

She stuffs toys into her clothes and walks around with these unsightly bulges. Having gained confidence in walking, she now proceeds to climbing. She sprung a surprise on me when she climbed her brother's bed. I was at the computer and suddenly realized that she was really quiet. I turned around and there she was sitting on E's bed. She flashed me a cheeky smile and looked rather pleased with herself. And just this morning, she climbed or rather tumbled out of the play yard. Thankfully, she fell on her side and not right smack on the head. Looks like her days of being confined are over. More adventures await us ...

We love you, baby girl. No words can describe how much we love you. So we'll spend our lifetime showing you our love. And we pray that you'll come to experience the love of your Heavenly Father whose unconditional love far exceeds the love that we imperfect parents can give you.

For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. (Ephesians 3:17 -19)

Celebration with life group and friends

Baby C kicked the cake. The look on my face says it all!

Celebration at great grandma's. Love this photo.

Finally, it's cake cutting time. E has been waiting eagerly to eat it.